Onstage, Offstage
by Quiet Hiker
Summary: Based on Backstage. A collection of one-shots for our school play, written by my friend and me. We've included basic explanations, so it will make sense even if you haven't seen the play. Rated T for safety and very minor violence and a little romance. Nothing much.
1. Mercedes, Unconscious

**Hi everyone! This fanfiction is based off of Backstage- a play by Pat Cook. You probably don't know it (unless you're reading this because you go to my school, which is reasonably likely), so I'll give a quick description. If you're interested, a different school put their performance on YouTube. And even if you don't like this chapter, the next one is by my friend, so you'll probably like that one much better.**

**Setting (of this fanfic): Rehearsal for _Don Juan in Cleveland_**

**Characters:**

**Mercedes Boatright: over dramatic actress who thinks she's an ingenue, but isn't really**

**Burton Cavendish: famous, stuck-up actor- lead in Don Juan in Cleveland**

**Lou- director of Don Juan in Cleveland**

**At one point in the play, Mercedes faints. When Lou discovers Mercedes is unconscious, she says, "Did someone hit her with a bucket _again_? How many times do I have to tell you people to stop doing that!", which inspired this fic.**

* * *

"I am a professional actress, Mr. Cavendish," declared Mercedes.

"Of course, but _I_ am the star of this play, Miss Boatright," replied Burton Cavendish.

"Yes, but _I_ am the leading _female_ character," she argued. "I believe that I can act properly, without your advice."

Cavendish answered, "I was _simply_ trying to help you, Miss Boatright. But-"

"And I appreciate that, but I do not need your help, Mr. Cavendish," interrupted Mercedes.

"Do you have a problem, Mr. Cavendish, Miss Boatright?" asked Lou.

"Mr. Cavendish is insulting my acting talent by trying to help me!" Mercedes answered, outraged at the thought that she might not have been the best actress after all.

"And I," added Cavendish, "was only trying to make this play of ours better! Miss Boatright is an average actress; I was simply-"

"Average! I am certainly more than a simply 'average' actress," shouted Mercedes.

"And does that mean that you simply must always do _everything_ perfectly?" Cavendish asked disdainfully.

"Sir, ma'am, please stop arguing!" Lou exclaimed. The rehearsal was about to start, the last thing they needed was for Cavendish and Mercedes to be in nastier moods than they usually were in. "I'm sure we can come to some agreement, and-"

Burton Cavendish continued shouting at Mercedes, completely ignoring Lou, "Just because you're the oldest person in the room-"

"I certainly think that you are far older than me, you pompous fool!" screamed Mercedes.

"I am _experienced_, you- you-" shouted Burton Cavendish. Looking around, he seized the nearest heavy object, the little card table.

"Mr. Cavendish, sir," begged Lou, waving her arms wildly in a desperate attempt to calm him, "please stop destroying the property of this theater!"

* * *

**Thanks for reading! Please review!**


	2. Freezing with a Chance of Meatloaf

**Hi! I'm Hiker Writer's friend. You can call me…Hiker Writer's Friend, or HWF. I, like Hiker, wrote a story (or two) about our school play, and since she is really nice and I don't have an account, she's publishing this as part of her series of oneshots about the play.**

**Notes about this scene:  
Pete is a mobster who came to the Baroque Theater to collect $500 from Burton Cavendish, as Cavendish owed Pete's brother money. Ginger, an actress in the play, is encouraged to go after him in order to distract him from Cavendish (whose poorly timed death is being kept secret). She spends a lot of time trying to get a meal out of him.**

**Finally, after lots of poker games, Pete is broke. He takes Ginger to dinner anyway, saying, "My brother owns a restaurant." She happily joins him, even though she's still wearing her costume.**

**Oh, and Skippy is the writer of the play that Ginger was in.**

**So, this is basically my take on what happened during their date.** **Thanks, and I hope you enjoy the story!**

**DISCLAIMER: Hiker and I own NOTHING. Well, that's a lie. We own SOME things. Just not the rights to Backstage. This is just for fun!**

* * *

"I did _not_ expect it to be this cold," muttered Ginger to herself, wishing she had changed out of her cheerleader costume. She hadn't been outside since the morning, but now that the show was over, it was 10:00 at night and it was _cold_.

"My brother's place is down the block from here. It shouldn't take very long," reasoned Pete. Ginger then noticed that he had a very nice coat on over his pinstriped suit – a very, very nice, very warm-looking coat. An idea popped into her head.

"It's cold," she complained, trying to give him a hint.

"Yup," agreed Pete. Ginger stared at him in disbelief. This trick always worked! Guys always offered her their coats immediately.

"You're – you're not lending me your coat?"

"Why would I do that?" questioned Pete, seeming genuinely confused.

"Because it's the _gentlemanly_ thing to do!" cried Ginger, stunned that this had to be explained at all.

"Oh," was all Pete had to say. He stopped walking, and Ginger waited patiently for him to give her the coat.

"We're here," he announced. Ginger set aside her annoyance at his cluelessness and was about to open the door (she had no hopes of him holding it for her) when he continued, "Wait out here a minute so I can talk to my brother."

"But-" Ginger protested, but he was already inside, and he had disappeared inside the restaurant. "Great," she muttered. Not only had he abandoned her, but she was stuck outside for goodness knows how long without a jacket of any kind. What kind of jerk left a girl outside in a cheerleading uniform in the middle of January?

And what kind of restaurant was this anyway? Did they serve meatloaf?_ Please let them serve meatloaf_, she prayed desperately. She'd been craving it ever since she'd tried to bribe Pete with it-

Speaking of Pete, he'd finally come back, but he seemed very frustrated about something.

"What's the matter?" she asked him immediately.

"I – well, the thing is, my brother's kinda mad at me right now. You know, losing him five hundred bucks and all…"

"But you didn't lose money! You traded Yolanda for the IOU. And Cavendish was dead, anyway!" exclaimed Ginger. This was not happening. It couldn't be. She'd flirted with him every time she was offstage, chased him around the theater in between acts, missed out on winning poker games and bets, waited all that time in the cold, and she wasn't even going to get any food out of it?

"Luke doesn't care."

"Luke?"

"My brother."

"Oh," Ginger said sullenly.

"And he said that I owe him a favor since I failed to get the money before Cavendish died."

"That's no reason to shun his brother!" Ginger needed nourishment, and some dumb older brother wasn't going to get in her way!

"That's what I said!" responded Pete.

"Could he at least get me a piece of bread?" _Or meatloaf?_ Ginger added hopefully to herself.

"I don't think so," Pete replied, shoving his hands into his coat pockets. "Luke's pretty stubborn." Ginger almost groaned out loud. Men! So utterly, utterly worthless! They couldn't even get a girl a decent meal! She was _definitely_ ranting to Claire, Agnes, and Yolanda tonight– maybe even Polly. Polly definitely knew how annoying men were – she and her boyfriend Ajax argued all the time.

Ginger wanted to yell at Pete, and inform him to him that she was having a terrible time as she was tired and cold and hungry and downright miserable, when Pete's face became confused as he suddenly held out his hands. Ginger almost asked what on Earth he thought he was doing, when she realized in his hands was _money_! Enough money to get a meal at Luigi's! Yes! FOOOOOD! She yanked his arm and dragged him all the way to the restaurant. They were quickly seated in a booth and given menus.

"What are you gonna get?" he asked, after flipping through the menu.

"Meatloaf," she replied, then hesitated. The people she dined with always grumbled about how much they loathed meatloaf.

"Cool," said Pete. "I think I'll get some too."

"You – you like meatloaf?" Ginger asked, hardly daring to believe it.

"Well, yeah," he answered, a little embarrassed. "My mom used to make it all the time. She still does, actually, because the warden loves her food, but it's been a while since I've had any."

"I think this is the beginning of a beautiful relationship," grinned Ginger, resting her head on her hand and gazing lovingly at him. Pete's face turned bright red and he scratched the back of his neck uncomfortably.

Once the waitress had taken their orders, a silence passed over the two.

"Sorry," Pete started, rather embarrassedly, "but I don't think I know your name." Ginger's eyes widened and she found herself blushing.

"I'm so sorry!" she cried. "I must have forgotten to introduce myself. I'm Ginger."

"Ginger?" he tested out.

"Yeah, my mother always wanted a redhead," Ginger said with a smile, twisting her hair around her finger. "Nasty shock for her when I was born blonde." Pete was about to reply when the waitress arrived with their food.

"Meatloaf!" squealed Ginger. "Oh, how I've missed your delicious taste!"

"You're talking to the meatloaf?" asked Pete curiously.

"Oh," Ginger mumbled. "Um, yeah. Habit."

"My mom talks to her food too," Pete reminisced fondly. Ginger just felt relieved that she hadn't scared him off. She picked up her knife and fork, and was about to put a piece of wonderful meatloaf in her mouth when-

"Put your hands up! You're under arrest!"

"Good grief," muttered Pete, doing as was commanded by the police officer who had just appeared out of nowhere. "I'm being held up _again_?"

"I could actually taste the meatloaf that time," Ginger sighed.

"You have the right to remain silent," began the officer in a bored tone. "Anything you say can and will be used against y-"

"You can't do this," wailed Ginger, completely taking the police officer, Pete, and the watching crowd of the patrons and staff by surprise. Good, maybe if the officer was surprised, she'd be able to get Pete out of there. "You can't take my snookums away from me! He's the only man I've ever loved!" Pete's jaw dropped and the officer seemed unsettled.

"I apologize, madam, however-"

"I won't stand for this!" declared Ginger. "C'mon, Skippy, let's get out of here."

"What?" asked a man in the booth behind her. "Oh, hello Ginger. You're still in your costume, you know?"

"Skippy?" she cried. She hadn't realized Skippy was there! She'd only called Pete "Skippy" so the officer would think he was arresting the wrong person!

"What is going on?" demanded the officer.

"Skippy will explain, won't you, Skippy?" Skippy opened his mouth to protest, but Ginger had already pulled Pete to his feet. She and Pete dashed out as quickly as they could.

"Thanks," whispered Pete, once they'd gotten away from the diner.

"No problem," grinned Ginger. "Hey, we're back at the theater! Can I just run in and get my stuff?"

"Sure," said Pete, and Ginger quickly changed into normal clothing that was much warmer than the cheerleading outfit.

When she came out, they decided to walk over to the local park for a few minutes before parting ways. By the time they'd reached the park, Ginger was pretty sure her nose was going to fall off, it was so cold. She shivered as the wind got harsher.

"Would – um – would you like my coat?" asked Pete uncertainly. Ginger positively beamed.

"I would appreciate that," she said softly. "Thank you." He awkwardly helped her with the coat, causing both of them to blush.

"Sorry about that whole thing at the diner," Pete started. "I guess someone found out about the Broke Theater I went to when I was looking for Cavendish. I know you really wanted that meatloaf."

"It's okay," Ginger, replied, her grin turning mischievous. "I brought some leftovers!" And from her pocket she pulled out the meatloaf, which she had wrapped in a napkin while trying to think of a plan. "Would you care for a bit of dinner?"

"Absolutely," was Pete's instant response.

They ate the meal cheerfully on a bench, joking and laughing the whole time. Ginger could hardly believe that all she'd originally wanted from him was a meal. This was the most entertaining date she'd been on! Pete may not have been the brightest, but he really was a sweet guy.

"Wow," she yawned, glancing at her watch. "It's past midnight." Pete nodded.

The both rose from the bench at the same time, somehow managing to trip each other in the process. Pete managed to catch Ginger, but his reaction was very different from when he'd caught Mercedes a few hours before.

"I – I – I –" he stuttered.

"I'm so sorry, I – oh," Ginger broke off, gazing up into his eyes. There was a slight pause, and then they tentatively leaned in and shared a soft, short kiss.

Maybe men weren't so worthless after all.

* * *

**Please review!**


End file.
